Guidelines

Every exchange with another person is an opportunity to bring more light into the world. It’s also an opportunity to add to the world’s darkness, doubt, and despair. You don’t know where another has been or where another is going. You cannot ascertain how heavy another’s heart may be, or the burdens another may bear. […]

“One moment, one time.” That is the meaning of an expression a tea garden manager used during a tea certification in San Francisco back in January, 2006. She quoted a Buddhist saying, first in Chinese, then in English, which means, “one event, happening once only.” It refers to the fact that life events are unique, […]

Maturity is difficult to gain and difficult to maintain. We may think we have arrived only to have some unexpected and frustrating life turning show us how immature we can still be. We may be very mature about some things some of the time, and perhaps a few things most of the time, but not […]

The older I get, the more I appreciate children. In a recent conversation about children and parenting, I recalled what I wrote many years ago, which has proven so true in my life. It is titled, simply, “Children”: “You who would understand children, first understand the child in you. Therein lies your link with their […]

People sometimes wonder why others treat them the way they do. Truth is, how we treat ourselves indirectly tells others how to treat us. Permission and prohibition stem from the nonverbal statements we make about whether and how we value ourselves. We instruct others in how to love us by how we love ourselves. Dr. […]

Persons matter more than principles. Principles are important, of course, and persons cannot long violate your principles and remain in relationship with you. But if you have to choose between persons or principles, listen to your heart as well as your head. Don’t sacrifice a greater value for a lesser one. Nothing has a greater […]