A single verse from Isaiah has touched my life deeply over the years. Whenever I pray through it, these anointed words have not failed to quiet and strengthen my soul:
“For thus said the Lord GOD, the Holy One of Israel: In returning and rest you shall be saved; in quietness and in trust shall be your strength” (Isa 30:15).
It is never too late to return to God. I have witnessed persons returning to God after years of seeming alienation, for whatever reason. Perhaps it was due to suffering, and not believing that God was there, that God could or would save them from their painful state of helplessness and aloneness. Yet this single verse offers an extraordinary promise from the God of Israel, which God alone can fulfill.
Recently, a close friend, who had been an avowed atheist for decades, finally returned to God. Living alone, he had to put down his beloved dog of fifteen years. On returning home, weeping, he discovered what he could not deny was a sign from God. His dog was to be cremated. And when he went to pick up his little dog’s bed, next to his own, he found ashes both in the bed and all around it. There was no way this could have just happened. He sensed that it was a miracle, and came to believe that his dog was not only a gift from God, but had brought God to him. Broken by grief, he was at last open to the love God showed him.
The ancient rabbis said that whenever you turned or returned to God, no matter what your circumstances, you would have an immediate audience with God. Even if you did not feel it at the time, God would hear you and respond in God’s timing and way.
Such turnings can be sudden, even unexpected. It happened one evening in a hotel bar in Salt Lake City, on Wednesday, May 24, 1967. I was 24 years old and working in the field of psychology in Denver. I had just given a paper at the annual meeting of the Rocky Mountain Psychological Association. It was well received and would be published in a journal. I had also been offered a full-ride Ph.D. in counseling psychology at Colorado State University. I finally had some confidence with women, and was enjoying an active social life. I had picked up golf and three good golf buddies.
On the surface, it seemed that my life was going great in all directions. Except for one: there was a growing void at my center, which, if there was a God, would surely be the one, and perhaps the only one to somehow fill it. I had been an agnostic for more than a decade, but now the “God-question” surfaced, like a whale emerging out of deep waters, and not merely from my head, but above all from my heart. I finally, fully realized that without God, life had no meaning, purpose, or ground.
After few beers into a life examination, something I did rather often, I grabbed a bar napkin, and to my surprise I wrote a poem to an “unknown God.” I later titled it “The Turning”:
“I’ve lost it,
That little nexus that fosters both
Meaning and motivation.
After wayfaring years
The circle is complete –
I’ve met myself on snowy,
Stark mountain pass,
Going where I have been.
I will not take that trip again,
For I have learned its end.
So I stop and pause
And take no step.
“A tiny kernel,
Once failing to sprout,
Can neither rise nor return.
“A standstill.
I want to succeed unaided,
To break through the barren earth;
But I cannot supply the needed nourishment.
And so a plea is made:
The hands upturned,
Strong legs forced to kneel,
A desperate face skyward.
With pride smitten words I ask,
“Help this ‘modern man.’”
The following November, God touched me at a prayer meeting, changing my life forever.
Jesus came to call us home to God, regardless of where we were. He said, “Come to me, all you that are weary and are carrying heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me; for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light” (Matt 11:28-30).
Countless good will come from your returning. You will attain a Sabbath rest with God, and in simple quietness and trust in the God who has saved you, you will receive strength for your life journey toward God.
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