Do not underrate the importance of being available to others. Sometimes that may be all you can give or do. You may not be able to heal their maladies, or alleviate their grief over their loss, or bail them out of their financial mess. But you can be available to hear them, to comfort them however slightly and temporarily with your sheer being there with them, for them. You can choose to take them into your heart. And though this may seem like a small or inconsequential action you can offer, it can mean a great deal to the other.
Sometimes I’ve told others sadly, “I wish I could do more,” only to be surprised and humbled by their kind reaction, “Thank you so much for being here.” This is what I was taught in seminary: to “be there” with them is the most essential thing we can offer suffering humanity. Not of course as if we should not do other things to assist people in their situations, from offering food to clothes, funds to housing. Yet the most important thing we can offer others day in and day out is our being available to them, our granting unvoiced permission for them to unburden their hearts, to feel connected with another soul.
There are two words for “healing” in the ancient Greek language, upon which, with Latin, English is based. The first word is “therapia,” and the second is “ioma.” The former means to tend to and treat, to comfort and be there; the latter means to actually heal. I can only offer the first kind of healing, namely to be there with others, to be available to take them into my caring. Only the medical establishment and God can offer the second kind of healing, that of eradicating the disease.
I seek to be “therapeutic” in my approach to humanity. I strive to connect, eye to eye with others, and in my silent availability, to assist others to feel free to share their hearts. When this works, I get to hear their precious stories. And we all have stories, waiting to be heard.
I must confess, however, that I am not always available to others. I too have times of turning away from a person in apparent need of sharing. Sometimes I want to say, simply, “Not today, please; come back tomorrow.” I know I cannot do that, however; I need to practice what Sue Monk Kidd calls “unrestricted availability.” As the sun shines equally on weeds as well as flowers, so too must I strive to be equally available to all humanity. Who knows but that a weed is really an unloved flower, awaiting the discovery of someone available to appreciate it.
Being available begins as an attitude, which leads to action. That renders availability a way of living, a way of treating others which brooks ever-increasing surprises and rewards. The medieval mystic Mechtild of Magdeburg defined the attitude of availability this way: “How should one live? Live welcoming to all.” What would your life be like if you developed this attitude toward humanity as a whole? Certainly more accepting and less judging. And much richer for sure. Welcoming others leads others to welcome you. As Mother Teresa of Calcutta said, “Let us always meet each other with a smile, for the smile is the beginning of love.”
Who is available to you? To whom are you available? These are measures of your life’s satisfaction and significance.
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