Once I had the unnerving sense that God was gazing on me. Here is how I described it:
Once during prayer, God gazed upon me,
How I know not, only
That God was focusing on my entire being
With a totality only God can attain.
Everything slowed down to stoppage,
Except my breath, as I somehow
Was granted the sight to follow
God’s gaze, looking at my past, present and future.
God saw all I have been and done,
The highs and lows, loves and hates,
The moments of tenderness and violence.
And as I said, “Please forgive me,”
I sensed a release only God can grant.
Then God gazed upon my present being,
And saw much more to me than I had imagined;
I deepened my breath, as if to take in
All that God saw in me, as me
With God, not as a thing-in-myself.
God affirmed what only God can see.
Finally, God looked to my future,
As if it were a single path
Of God’s design and destiny for me.
A light from above suddenly shown
On my indeterminate tomorrows,
And I heard God’s whispered voice
Calling, summoning me forward with a simple address:
“Hal!” rang the divine imperative,
As only God can speak.
Henceforth, the whole of my being,
Past, present and future has been gathered up
Into God, and my journey into tomorrow
God called and confirmed,
And as only God can, blessed.